Prologue 4 | Page 50

Author Comment:
Any guesses as to what that contraption might be? The cleverest and/or funniest guess will be awarded naming rights.

So, it’s a week later, and here are the results:

There were too many great suggestions to pick a single winner:

  • Future Marketing Award:
    alurker for the Miracle Fat Blaster 2000™
  • Weaponized Beverage Award:
    BowenTheKotoc for the Auto Long Range Tea Dispenser (ALRTD) with Dual Nozzles
  • Stating The Obvious Award:
    Parnifia the Bastard
  • Dead-On Accuracy Award & Fart Joke Award:
    W. Murphy for a pressure assisted speaking tube
  • Catchy Title Award:
    mjarndt for the Double-Barreled Tea Trumpet.
  • WTF Award:
    davidbreslin101 for inflating flying pigs?
  • Cringe-Worthiest Award:
    LockeZ for his rudimentary mammogram device
  • Overwrought Epethet Award:
    CapnPanda for VATTHEHELL
  • Most-Adorable Award:
    Bob Kerns for the little teapot, short, with spouts.
  • Cop-Out Winner-Picker Award: Mvandinter 😉



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22 Responses to Prologue 4 | Page 50

  1. alurker says:

    Wait – I think I saw one of those on the home shopping channel.
    Is it a Miracle Fat Blaster 2000 ™ ?

    • mvandinter says:

      Wow! The audience for Unearth has penetrated the Home Shopping Channel demographic! That’s a good sign, right?

  2. BowenTheKotoc says:

    I’m guessing it’s an Auto Long Range Tea Dispenser (ALRTD) with Dual Nozzles.

    • mvandinter says:

      Ooooo. That certainly conjures a vivid mental image… of screaming tea-drinkers dodging burning jets of their favorite beverage 🙂

  3. I think it looks like it’s just meant to send messages.

    …Through the air.

    …At high speed…

  4. W. Murphy says:

    It’s a pressure assisted speaking tube! You talk into the mouth piece while the bellows are pumped and the added force carries the sound farther. Hopefully the wind coming out of the other end doesn’t break the sound barrier. Though wind maybe broken.

  5. mjarndt says:

    It’s a double-barreled tea trumpet.

  6. davidbreslin101 says:

    It’s a device for inflating pigs, to make them capable of unpowered flight. You can tell by the snout-shaped nozzles. (There’s two of them because who has time to inflate a herd of swine one at a time?)

  7. LockeZ says:

    I believe it is a rudimentary mammogram device.

  8. CapnPanda says:

    It must be…

    The Voice Amplifying Through The Heat Engaging Hoarse Evading Luster Lube.

    Or, VATTHEHELL for short.

  9. Bob Kerns says:

    A little teapot, short, with spouts.

  10. Stating the obvious; it’s what Parnifia the Bastard does best.

    (Besides talking in the third person.

  11. mootstrap says:

    Clearly it’s a baby Dalek. Any moment now, it will start yelling, “COMMUNICATE!!! COMMUNICATE!!” and waving its dual plungers around. (It has two plungers, like all juvenile Daleks do until their first moulting.)

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